It’s just past Valentine’s Day, and love is in the air. Although romantic love is the traditional focus of this month, February also offers an excellent opportunity to strengthen the most important relationship you’ll ever have: your relationship with yourself.
Scheduling a massage is a great way to practice self-care, but not only for the reasons you’d expect. As those who get regular massages will tell you, the benefits are more than just physical.
Let’s do an experiment. I want you to imagine you’re with someone you generally feel good or neutral about — someone like a friend or co-worker. Now, imagine they’ve just done something that annoys or inconveniences you. Maybe your friend teased you about something you’re sensitive about, or your co-worker interrupted you to ask a question while you were “in the zone.” Now, imagine yourself looking that person in the eyes and kindly requesting they refrain from doing whatever it is that bothers you.
If this exercise makes you deeply uncomfortable, you’re not alone.
Like many people, I struggle to set and maintain healthy boundaries in my personal life. This sometimes leaves me feeling drained or even used, like I’ve given up my own comfort to accommodate (what I believe are) other people’s preferences. If this feels true for you too, I’ve got an offbeat suggestion for you: get a massage.
As an RMT, I’m obviously biased. But as a person who also gets a lot of massages, let me tell you: a massage session is a great opportunity to practice setting boundaries with a safe person who is legally obligated to respect them. While your RMT is there to share their expertise and provide a safe treatment that appropriately addresses your concerns, you’re still the boss for the duration of your 60 (or 30, or 90…) minutes. Questions and requests (that aren’t unsafe and/or obviously inappropriate) are welcomed, and you’re allowed to change your mind.
If you’re someone who struggles to make requests for fear of bothering someone, appearing “needy” or demanding, or looking foolish in front of an “expert,” you might take comfort in knowing your real-time feedback (whether it’s positive, negative, or neutral) actually helps make your treatment better and more effective. Think of it like an opportunity to practice advocating for yourself.
To get you started, here’s a list of things you’re allowed — encouraged, even! — to say during a massage.
- I’d like more/less/a different kind of pressure, please.
- It hurts/feels weird/feels good when you do X.
- I’d prefer not to have my (feet, etc.) included in the treatment.
- I’d prefer to be treated through my clothes.
- It’s not comfortable for me to lay on my back/side/stomach.
- Can I have another pillow?
- I’m cold. Could you cover me with a blanket?
- I’d prefer to keep talking to a minimum during our session.
- Why are you working in that area/using that technique?
- Could we change/turn off/turn up the music, please?
- Can you spend more time working on my (upper back, etc.)?
- Can we pause for a moment?
- I’d like to stop the treatment now.
- Can you give me some stretches/exercises/advice I can use to treat myself at home?
I challenge you to seize the opportunity to use one of these phrases during your next treatment. When you’re ready to book, give us a call at 519-827-9519!
Written by: Charlotte Hannah, RMT